Couples Counseling

Couples come to couples counseling for a variety of reasons: problems communicating, dissatisfaction with their sex life, conflicts over parenting, issues with blended families, fights over money, conflicts with in-laws or loss of emotional intimacy.

I believe that healthy relationships are necessary for healthy humans.  You probably know from experience that intimate relationships can be the most rewarding and yet most challenging facets of our lives, and some of the most influential as well.  Attachment theory research has shown us that no other relationships have the potential to change the way we relate to others and further our own growth.

In couples counseling we’ll start out by looking beyond the surface conflicts in your relationship. Searching to find the deep emotional needs for connection and safety each of you has that aren’t currently being met. Therefore we’ll focus on the quality of the friendship that is the foundation for improving connection and intimacy between two people.

Once we see those needs, together we can begin reestablishing a safe emotional connection. We can preserve your attachment bond to one another. We can rebuild the friendship and restore those loving connections couples long for.

Training

“As human beings we need safe haven, secure, basic relationships with a few other people on this planet.  We are stronger when we have these loving connections.” John Gottman, Ph.D.

I ground my approach to couples counseling in the research of John and Julie Gottman. The Gottmans have spent decades studying healthy couples to see what they are doing right. They then apply that research to develop practical steps that couples can adopt to improve their relationship.

Additionally, I have studied with Stan Tatkin, the developer of PACT- A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy. PACT combines neuroscience, arousal regulation, and attachment theory to help couples understand and improve their connection.

What Next?

To schedule a couples counseling session, please contact me at (512)296-9039 or patty@pattyolwell.com